Eternity..I mean Maternity Clothes

So now that I'm back in the gestation business I have a whole host of new material. So I think I'll start with maternity clothes. The bad news is that...well...it's maternity clothing. That pretty much isolates you from the latest fashion trends. And though some of you out there probably don't even show until you're 8 months along, only to sport an adorable little barely-there-baby-bump, I was in maternity clothes about 5 minutes after the test came back positive. So no more haute couture for me. My fashion days are over for the next 3 years (yes, it takes me almost 2 years to lose the baby weight despite a normal weight gain- even though I'm sure you left the hospital in your regular jeans that were now too big from all the weight you lost while pregnant). Anyway, cattiness aside, the good news is...everybody else looks pregnant too, hooray! The latest fashion trend seems to be babydoll tops which I would normally avoid like the plague for fear of looking pregnant, but now....if the shoe fits, wear it right? But, more bad news... maternity clothing this year is just the opposite. So while everyone else gets to wear oversized, empire-waisted babydoll tops, us moms-to-be are stuck with spandex camisoles and side-ruched tees complete with spaghetti straps and banded waists. And to think that pregnancy does a number on a woman's body image anyway, what is this!? I mean, who in their right mind wants to wear some skin-tight top that's ruched down the side and leaves nothing to the imagination? Somehow the thought of spandex stretched over a huge belly complete with inside-out navel and lines from the ultra-high waist maternity jeans just doesn't scream high fashion. And apparently I'm not the only one because I noticed that all the normal looking stuff was sold out in my size, leaving only the extra smalls for all you barely-there-baby-bump gals who can wear your regular clothing anyway. And the worst part of it all is I will be in the damn things until eternity- which is how long it will take me to lose the weight after baby #4..... Sorry for the rant folks- and tune in next time for more hormonally hyped up pregnancy rants =)