Today is WHAT day?!

So here we are late for school again. This entire week my household has been like some supernatural time sink. With all the minutes that seem to vanish into thin air, we could be an episode of the X-files. I mean, I get up and have coffee at 7:05am....then I look up and it's 8:40am, the kids haven't brushed their teeth, I'm not even dressed and there's still homework to be signed and snacks to pack! My poor children have barely made to school on time all week (our school starts at 9:15am...and yes, I LOVE it). So, late again this morning: I am barking orders like a drill sergeant, Alex has destroyed his diaper in a very odoriferous way, my husband can't find clean socks, my youngest daughter is crying cause she can't find her shoes and my oldest is actually having a tantrum over the fact that her favorite jeans no longer fit (welcome to the rest of your life, honey). Yet despite tears, tantrums and tons of poop, it looks like we might just squeak in under the wire, then....oh hell,I forgot it's picture day.

I look at my children. Elisabeth's super thick hair is wild and woolly, barely contained by her staunch efforts and absolute conviction that 2 teeny fashion barrettes are going to keep it contained- sort of like a wad of chewing gum holding back the hoover dam. Abby didn't shower last night thanks to a family wii tournament that went way past bedtime. Her normally shiny hair is oily and limp, bangs hanging in her face. She picked a black hooded t-shirt to wear today and is currently hiding her entire head under the hood. She looks like a gang member that's been hiding out all night. I look at the clock....if we leave now we'll just make it.... and then tell everyone to head upstairs where I perform some lightning fast makeovers with a curling iron, hair gel, scrunchies and scented body splash. Newly primped, we rush to school- only 10 minutes late, thank you very much. It's then I realize I forgot the prepay forms. So now I have to go into the office unshowered with mismatched sweats, slippers, no makeup and that lovely sex-the-night-before hairdo. I fill out forms with my head down while my son tries his best to follow his sisters to class and every other mom in the school comes in looking thin and fresh with full makeup and matching clothes. Ten mortifying minutes later the task is done and Alex and I head out for home. Tomorrow I'm setting a damned timer.