The Lottery

Yesterday I won the lottery.....nooooo, not the one with all the money- the other kind, the PRESCHOOL LOTTERY. I say that in all caps because it apparently inspires fear and awe in the hearts of mothers everywhere. You see, after a preschool signs up all the returning students, siblings and children of church members, the remaining slots are open to the general public via lottery system. For those of you who haven't experienced this little peephole into hell, I will explain. Picture a large room full of folding chairs, screaming toddlers, roped off aisles and registration tables manned by sweet (if somewhat harried) grandmotherly ladies.....now amp up the stress level to about that of those "naked in school" dreams. There are different procedures, but in my case I arrived early to be issued a number....and then to sit there for an hour while the room filled with 100 or more people, all of whom were competing for the 23 remaining spots. When the cutoff time arrived we all sat tensely in a now-quiet room as numbers were called at random and those lucky moms stepped up to be issued a different number and instructed to get in line at the appropriate table and find their place in THAT line based on numerical order. It may sound innocuous, but you cannot imagine the stress of sitting there while everyone around you is called up and the lines at each table get longer and longer. Then waiting in line as others (called after you I might add) get to cut in front of you because their number comes before yours. While I waited in my seat, I heard tales from anxious moms about this being their fourth or fifth lottery attempt, some even camping out at 5am to receive a number at first light. I swear I haven't seen this much anxiety since my best friend in high school missed her period. I had originally intended to just relax about the process, but I found this impossible sitting there with horror stories whispered against the background of pure stress as lady luck ran the show. In the end, I was the next to the last number called and nabbed the very last "boy" spot in the class I wanted. I walked out of there feeling like the luckiest person on the planet....maybe I'll even buy a lottery ticket on the way home.